Friday, April 8, 2011

Pati Aur Patni Ke Latest Chutkule

Chutkule, Pati Aur Patni Ke Majedar Hindi Chutkule or Jokes

Ek Ladki Apne Boy Friend ke Sath Ghoom Rahi thi...
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Itne main Uska
Husband Aa gaya aur uske Boy Friend Ko Maarne laga...
Ladki - Maar Saale Ko
Apni biwi Ghumaata nahi hai,
Aur dusro
ki biwi Gumaane le aata hai...
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(itne me Boy Friend josh me
husband ko marne laga)
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Ladki - Maar saale Ko, na khud
Ghumaane le jata hai,
na kisi aur ko Ghumaane deta hai...

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Husband Aur Wife ka Payar
Wife - Tum Mujhse kitna pyar karte ho
Husband - Sahjah se bhi jayada
Wife - To tum bhi mere marne ke baad Taj Mahal banwaooge?
Husband - Yar main to Plot bhi le chuka hu, Pagli der to tu hi kar rahi hai...

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Teacher - kal school kyu nahi aaya.
Santa - Gir gaya tha or lag gayi.
Teacher - kahan gire, kahan lagi?
Santa - Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gayi

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Pati : Darling aaj sunday hai to soch raha hu ki thoda Enjoy kiya jae...
Patni : Achhha Idea hai
Pati : PVR main mast Movie chal rahi hai, isliye main evening show ke 3 Ticket laya hu...
Patni : 3 kis liye ?
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Pati : Tumhare liye aur Tumhare Mammy Papa ke liye....

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Patni ne Pati se poocha - Agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Pati ne javab diya, main advertise dunga ki jahan bhi raho khush raho…

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Purani Kahawat hai...
Sote Waqt koi Tension Le kar nahi Sona chahiye
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Fir Bhi
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Pata Nahi
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Log apne sath Wife (Patni) ko Lekar kyu sote hain

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Wife : tumne mujhe shadi se pehle qu nhi btaya ki tumhari phle hi RANI naam ki wife hai...
Hussband : mene shadi se phle btaya to tha k me tumhe RANI ki tarah rakhunga.

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Patni : Chandni chand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi
Mohabaat ek se hoti hai, hazaron se nahi
Pati : Chandni chand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga

Mohabbat ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga

*********** Wife: Aaj Main TOWEL mein thi aur
Sasur ji aa gaye
Husband : Fir tumne kya kiya??
wife : Jo rozana karti hu,
TOWEL ko khol ke GHUNGHAT BaNa
LIYA,

kuch sanskar mujhme bhi hain na...

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Bhikhari ne Awaaz lagayi - Babu ji roti
milegi??.
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Andar se awaz aai - Biwi ghar par nahi hai..
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Bhikhari - Chumma nahi maanga saale, Roti
to tu bhi de sakta hai...

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Wife - "Mujhe Lagta Hai Aap Ka
"Ankita" Ke Sath Najayaz Sambandh
Hai"
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Husband Hairani Se - "Ye Tum Kaise Keh Sakti Ho" ?
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Wife - "Kal Jab Uske Husband Mujhe Milne Aaye To
Us Ne App Ka Underwear Pehan Rakha Tha"

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Pati Ka Saxx Karne Ka Mood Tha Office Se Ghar Aate Hue Market Se Condom Le Aya.. Ghar Aaya To Patni Ne Us Se Pucha.
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Patni : Ye Condom Kitne Ka Hai?
Husband : 10 Rupe Ka
Patni : Hey Bhagwan, Mehngayi To Dekho, Jab Main 7th Class Mein Thi Tab 50 Paisi Ke 3 Aate The

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Pati Gaana Gaa Raha tha - Main Duniya Hila
dunga Teri Chahat main..
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Patni - Rahne do Raat ko Khatiya to Hila
nahi pate ho, Duniya kya Khak Hilaoge...

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Class Main Bahut Shor Ho Raha Tha, Aur Koi Teacher Bhi Nahi Tha..
Shor Ko Sunte Hue Principal Class Main Aayi Aur Gusse Se Boli
Principal - "Kis Ka Period Chal Raha Hai"
Aur Sharmate Hue 6 Ladkiya Khadi Ho Gayi..

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Patni - Asa lagta hai ki Samne wale ghar main Pati aur patni ke bich Ladai ho rahi hai...
App ek bar jakar dekho na...
Pati - Main 1-2 bar gaya tha... Sayad ye usi ka Natiza hai..

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Wife - Kuch Saal Pahle Mera Figure PEPSI ki Bottal ki jaisa tha..
Husband - Are wo to Abhi bhi hai..
Wife - sach??
Husband - Pahle Bottle 300ML ki thi aur
Ab
2-Litre ki hai...

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Bimar patni ne apne Pati se kaha
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Patni - Ab main nahi bachungi.. Mar jaaungi...
Pati - Main bhi Mar jaaunga
Patni - Are Mein to Bimaar hoon isleye mar jaungi.. tum kyon marogay..
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Pati - yar Main itni Khushi Bardasht nahi kar paunga isliey

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Ek Din Pati Apni Patni Se Bola
Pati - Darling Kya Program Hai
Patni - Abhi nahi, Munaa So Jaaye Phir Karna Jo Karna Hai.
Pati ne thodi der baad pucha Munna so gaya kya
Patni - Nahin abhi Nahi soya
Pati Ne Phir Thodi Der Baad Poochha So gaya Kya?
Bacchha Ye Sab Sun Raha tha aur achanak se bola
Munna - Jiski Maa CHUUDNEE Wali Ho Use Neend Kaise Aa Sakti Hai.

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Husband to Wife
Tu kahe to chaand taare tod du,
Tu kahe to band darwaje khol du,
Tu kahe to yeh duniya chhod du,
Tu ek baar haske to dekh meri Jaan,
Tere saare gande daanton ko tod du.

15 comments:

  1. Wah!! kya Chutkule hain... please keep sharing...

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  2. verry good chutkule hai

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  3. i like jokes and these jokes are realy very good.

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  4. Ek Nursery class ka baccha bola - "Maam main aap ko kaisa lagta hoon...
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    Maam - So Sweet
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    Baccha apni side ke ladke se bola - "Dekha maine kaha tha na line marti hai...

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  5. whha kya chutkule hai
    maja aa gaya
    keep sharing...........
    thank you

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  6. wah kya mast joke hai

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  7. Very nice chutkule...please keep sharing.

    ReplyDelete